The Musings of a Wandering Soul

"Why when I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?"
"I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it."
-- Shepherd Book, Serenity

I believe in God
I believe in the people that gave their lives for my freedom
I believe and my husband and My sister
and I believe in the love that binds us together

or, meditation at 150 bpm.

Something happens around the time my heartrate hits 150 that makes thought flow. Somewhere after 'Do I really have to be here' and before 'I'm going to die now', some restraining force in my head starts to break down and I can think. But not in an organized logical way. It wanders around. And typically goes places I hadn't intended to be while working out. (If the guy on the next treadmill only knew.) So thoughts and feelings that I had been ignoring or just plain didn't know were come floating to the surface and I have an odd detached place to work on them for awhile. Then with any luck I can solidify a few right after and not lose all the work I just did. Sometimes.

I think time flows like water. Fast. Slow. Cold. hot. Controlled by the structure of a river, raging out of control through a flooded gully. Contained and accounted for or slipping futilely through my fingers. Yep that last one about sums up where I am at and have been. For a moment it seems held in my cupped hands, til I realize it is slipping away through unseen cracks.
In the now I want to be like a great river, steady and strong eventually getting from point A to point B with just enough rapids and swerving to keep things interesting.

I need one. I haven't been looking hard enough, or for the last few months at all. It's time to get back out there. My brain is just about balanced again so I should work on balancing my life now. Having to do some recent paperwork towards my registration exams has got me thinking and moving in that direction. So I am basically writing this for myself as some inspirational musing/navelgazing.

So every now and then we all get asked questions like these:
"Are you actually happy with your what you do for a living, is it something you want to do for 20 years or the rest of your life. Why, what do you want to accomplish, what makes it meaningful to you?"
( I thought now seemed like an appropriate time to answer them. )

Main Entry: love
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: adore, like very much
Synonyms: admire, adulate, be attached to, be captivated by, be crazy about, be enamored of, be enchanted by, be fascinated with, be fond of, be in love with, canonize, care for, cherish, choose, deify, delight in, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, fancy, glorify, go for, gone on, have affection for, have it bad, hold dear, hold high, idolize, long for, lose one's heart to, prefer, prize, put on pedestal, think the world of, thrive with, treasure, venerate, wild for, worship


( I've been thinking about love and relationships a lot recently. And passion and connection. )

Courtesy of jazzfish Today is Sunreturn. The dark of the year has passed and we've not given up. From here on up it's all downhill. ...

( Sunreturn is... )

The basis of this post comes from a post by Penelope Trunk over at Brazen Careerist. If you have never read this blog I highly recommend checking it out. She gives excellent advice for both young and established professionals. http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/

The relevant post here is from last November. http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/03/five-things-people-say-about-christmas-that-drive-me-nuts/
( Cut for length and ramby-ness )

Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

As oceansfire will tell you, I have pretty well developed opinions about this. And in the end it comes down to a separation of church and state. IMHO there is a big difference between the legal state document that quixotic_goat and I signed and the religious ceremony that was performed. As such I see no reason that the two need to mix. My solution, stolen from the Germans, is that everyone must have a JP ceremony first. After that if you want your union consecrated in some way that is meaningful to you, so be it. I can understand people of strong faith feeling that homosexual marriage goes against the doctrine of their faith. They have the right to believe that. But they do not have the right to impose there faith, and subsequent doctrines, onto people not of that faith/religion. (As a note: I can sympathize with both sides of the conflict surrounding Christian homosexuals. IMHO it is complex and extremely personal and in the end is between the individual and God. And it is one I am glad I do not have to tackle.)
I could probably go on for pages about this but I won't. If you would like to discuss it with me, in a civil intellectual manner, give me a call and I will enjoy the discourse.

If you would like to make a more direct impact towards stopping the passing of CA Proposition 8, donations can be made to the campaign at http://la.hrc.org/ At this point the money is to get more advertising on the air before Tuesday. Currently the "Yes on 8" campaign has about for times as much cash and hence that much more advertising. And a huge portion of that money is out of state.

love is where you find. There isn't enough of it out there to waste any of it.

peace + love + joy

I get the most bizarre thoughts in my head at the strangest times. Such as this gem. At 4pm on a sunny friday afternoon. I may be getting frustrated with work. Or I may just be that random. I've always really liked the last sentence.

"Who am I? I'm Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Andrei and Sofie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is gonna kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I'm death incarnate and the last living thing that you're ever going to see. God sent me."
-- Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Between the Darkness and the Light"

Can I be her when I grow up? I promise to use my powers for good. (You know the vengeful variety, chaotic good.)

Mmmm...tasty sci-fi goodness.