bootstraps and depression

Anyone who's been there, and their loved ones, knows this is bullshit. Meaning everyone needs help. But often that is easier said than done. Finding professional help is, usually, a necessity. (if you disagree, /shrug, we can discuss in another venue/post) However sometimes getting that help is a problem in and of itself, for many and varied reasons. Even once you have a professional team on your side, they aren't there everyday. So what can the rest of your support system to do to help? I was asked this question and had no answer, good or otherwise. When I am in anything but a stable state, so mixed, manic or depressed, I am most likely going to be irritable and pissed at everyone. Hence there is a good probability that I will bite your head for any question more probing that "what do you want for dinner?". (even that might be dangerous if i am hungry and feeling judged. I usually feel judged.) So how can someone help if I can't let them in?
Why is this not covered in high school? Really it would have helped.