Life is going well. Being productive most days getting resumes out the door and catching up on my continuing education stuff. Should have all of that done by next wednesday. Therapy is on hold for the next 2 weeks as she is out on emergency leave. /shrug So it goes. I am maintaining momentum at the moment so let's hope I can keep it up.

Have been keeping up with social as well. (the only down being that it is doing crap for the whole eating healthy thing.) Some club nights, lots of gaming, a wedding and gaming and even some familial socialness going on.
Tonight I went to the theater with quixotic_goat. We have season tickets to the Studio Theater, which means once every other month we are required to go out for something different. Tonight's offering was amazing. Marcus; or the Secret of Sweet, (http://www.studiotheatre.org/calendar/view.aspx?id=1505) is about a young man comin to terms with his sexuality and how it fits into his life as a black man in rural Louisiana. It is running through the 20th and I highly recommend checking it out.

Hopefully there will be more later.

which means I don't write enough.
Also means I am generally not exercising the brain enough.

use it or lose it in the brain pan area I guess.

So how do you stimulate your brain?
out of the gutter you pervs! ;)

“If you’re bored with life...or you don’t get up every morning
with a burning desire to do things...you don’t have enough
goals.” -Lou Holtz

So if boredom is the symptom I guess I need to make some goals. Concrete plans. defined goals. real time frames.

I think my muse is taunting me. She will pop up and throw out the loveliest, most beautiful ideas, then run off and hide under a hidden rock. Err...thanks. Really. Inspired lack of motivation is so much fun.

So how does one capture a muse long enough to actually create something beautiful. Can I catch her in a book like a pressed faerie? Probably not.
Working on that one.

Made a good start last night started laying out collages of the trip east and the piercings. Also going through older work for more ideas.

Main Entry: love
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: adore, like very much
Synonyms: admire, adulate, be attached to, be captivated by, be crazy about, be enamored of, be enchanted by, be fascinated with, be fond of, be in love with, canonize, care for, cherish, choose, deify, delight in, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, fancy, glorify, go for, gone on, have affection for, have it bad, hold dear, hold high, idolize, long for, lose one's heart to, prefer, prize, put on pedestal, think the world of, thrive with, treasure, venerate, wild for, worship


( I've been thinking about love and relationships a lot recently. And passion and connection. )

All epic journeys involve at least one night spent in the car.

I love old bricks.

Whenever I start a job search I need to be sure to spend a little time, or a lot, doing things that remind me why I love what I do. I spent all of this morning and some of the afternoon wandering around St Louis taking pictures of houses and street lamps and old warehouses and power plants. It was very good and it has been far too long since I have had the uninhibited desire to wander down random alleys and through not quite vacant lots. Of course as I was taking a series of shots of nice row houses in Layfette Park, it occurred to me. How does one prove that they are a trigger happy architecture bum and not casing houses? I should really figure that one out.

Headed onward to DC/NoVA.

More later.

Busy busy lots of stress, but some happy happenings sprinkled in.
The biggest in both these categories is studying for, the heinous stress part, and passing my LEED A.P. exam. This the US Green Build Council's professional certification. ( www.usgbc.org ) This is the national organization that defines and certifies 'green buildings'. Although the term 'green building' is currently in an ambiguous state similar to where organic was 15 years ago. It has meaning, definitions and criteria. All of which are interpreted and defined differently by many groups. The USGBC is striving to change that.

This was a big deal for 2 reasons. One the test is difficult and involves at lot of memorization. Not my strong suit. More importantly though, it was a big step in my professional development. Failing it would have been pretty devastating, and expensive. Whereas passing it has given me a lot of confidence in aggressively pursuing the 10 exams required for my Architect's license. I didn't realize until after the LEED exam, how overwhelmingly intimidated I have been by all of them. So here's to personal and professional growth.

More good stuff.
This week I have been reminded how much I truly enjoy object manipulation. I now have 2 sets of fans, 2 batons, a 5' staff and a boken. And have spent enough time with each that they are starting to feel like an extension of my body. Especially the staff. Both contact (body rolls and other manipulations not using the hands) and spinning have a flow and a rhythm in tune with my body. I did competitive baton for 10 years when I was younger (8-18), but haven't done much since. Though sometimes my body could feel the movements and want to do them. whether I had something in my hand or not. I went to a fan workshop on Saturday up in LA. It was amazing. I was the only person in a class taught by one of the best fan spinners in the US. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtbWjHKdU-E she's a bit more polished now, this was about 9 months ago) Mainly we concentrated on tosses, hand placement and transitions and advance plain positions (behind the back etc). Much much fun and well worth the drive.

Headed to NoVA this weekend for a wedding reception and catching up with people. Waffles with julesk and wahyagar Saturday. Brunch gathering at kaelikat's on Sunday. And afternoon coffee (mmm...coffee) with drlori and sometimerose(and baby!). Maybe even some baby goats.

Hopefully more later.

and just can't get them out, dammit. I am currently reading a book called "Finding Your Bipolar Muse". And one of the quotes pretty much sums up the last 15 or so years of my life.(Yes Half of it) "When I am in a mixed state I get all these ideas about writing and art and working but, I have no energy or motivation to do anything with them." Basically things get stuck in my head. (which is why often my lists of posts to make is huge but I never get around to doing anything about. And why often when I finally do write them down I apologize first about subjecting you to my drivel. {I actually haven't done that in awhile, neat.}) And why I cry when I write.

So since I seem to keep missing my opportunities to get this stuff out I am going to dump a list here and start picking through it. ( What I have been thinking about, musing over and generally distracted by )

Other than all that things of been pretty up and down. I thought that I had kicked the general depressed funk that I've been in since Burning Man a couple weeks ago. And I had, sort of. I traded it for some rapid cycling and mixed states. I have an appointment in 2 weeks and am deciding what to say when I get there.

Oh yea and I found a new DENTIST!! I know I know you are currently giving me an odd look and wondering why this is so exciting. Well #1 he wasn't mean to me. I don't know the last time you went looking for one or how long it had been between visits but in my experience and that of others I know closely dentists can be relatively callous, sometimes mean and generally unsympathetic to people that have emotional(fear/anxiety) and financial problems seeking out dental care. I am trying to not hate the profession as a whole. Currently Dr. Godinez is their only hope imo. It didn't hurt that I didn't have any cavities or disintegrating fillings.

The following is posted as a direct quote from the journal of on_a_hill. I agree with her take on the importance of it. For all that I angst over my life, in the end I am Incredibly fortunate. I have friends who have lived through things that would more than likely have broken me. I do not express gratitude nearly often enough and it has been far too long since I put back into the world that which I have not just taken but been given outright.

--------------------------------------------
( Privilege Meme (yes, I'm doing it) )

So it occurs to me that you all get to hear me constantly bitching (or alternately crying some weeks) and may not know how awesome my life really is. So a little taste of why you want my life.

I have the most incredible husband. No shit we won the fairytale. I heard a comedian talk about 'love magic' once. Its being totally in awe of your loved one regardless of what they're doing. Yep, got it plan on keeping it.

I have an interesting, stimulating, growing career that makes society better. Most days I feel pretty damn smart to boot.

I am pretty physically healthy. And constantly learning and working to improve it.

We really do have enough money to do what we want and save for the future.

I have cool hair.

"Its not having what you want, its wanting what you've got."
- Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun