darkfyre_muse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
darkfyre_muse) wrote2008-08-25 01:12 am
darkfyre_muse) wrote2008-08-25 01:12 am
Things I was tinking on the way home from LB at 2330
Thought cycle #1. So I was reading this article earlier.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerbmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=9497959&page=4
And it of course got me thinking about being one of those sappy couples. How I have been for 7.5 years now. And about what would have happened if in fall of 1996 two ships hadn't passed in the night but, instead lashed together and made a go off ot. Would I still be sitting here in CA? Would we be together? The only thing to know for certain is that we wouldn't be the same people, for better or for worse. I don't think it would be worth the risk. Sometimes I think you have to screw up really bad before you can see what works and what doesn't.
Thought cycle #2. "So what are you offering at the Temple?" My answer "Doing what where?"
Once I was assured that this was not some ritual worshiping Crimson as a deity(perish the thought and whatever you do don't suggest it), I thought about it. First reaction,took about 2 minutes in that, my HS yearbooks. My sister, who posed the question immediately asked why. "Well because they all sit on a shelf in the book room and make me feel uncomfortable/queasy/not happy when I see them." She seemed surprised by this and that surprised me. I am still going to do it but, I am now wondering "Why do I feel this way?" Generally speaking I don't think about high school unless something specifically reminds me. Unfortunately the good stuff is now all jumbled up with the bad stuff. Intellectually I know that the good outweighed the bad. But how much of that was a lie? More than is pretty to admit.
Thought cycle #3. How much of my brain is chemistry and how much is habit?
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerbmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=9497959&page=4
And it of course got me thinking about being one of those sappy couples. How I have been for 7.5 years now. And about what would have happened if in fall of 1996 two ships hadn't passed in the night but, instead lashed together and made a go off ot. Would I still be sitting here in CA? Would we be together? The only thing to know for certain is that we wouldn't be the same people, for better or for worse. I don't think it would be worth the risk. Sometimes I think you have to screw up really bad before you can see what works and what doesn't.
Thought cycle #2. "So what are you offering at the Temple?" My answer "Doing what where?"
Once I was assured that this was not some ritual worshiping Crimson as a deity(perish the thought and whatever you do don't suggest it), I thought about it. First reaction,took about 2 minutes in that, my HS yearbooks. My sister, who posed the question immediately asked why. "Well because they all sit on a shelf in the book room and make me feel uncomfortable/queasy/not happy when I see them." She seemed surprised by this and that surprised me. I am still going to do it but, I am now wondering "Why do I feel this way?" Generally speaking I don't think about high school unless something specifically reminds me. Unfortunately the good stuff is now all jumbled up with the bad stuff. Intellectually I know that the good outweighed the bad. But how much of that was a lie? More than is pretty to admit.
Thought cycle #3. How much of my brain is chemistry and how much is habit?
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