darkfyre_muse: (wash)
"Why when I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?"
"I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it."
-- Shepherd Book, Serenity

I believe in God
I believe in the people that gave their lives for my freedom
I believe and my husband and My sister
and I believe in the love that binds us together
darkfyre_muse: (this will do)
I find that more often than not when I have something brewing in my brain I tend to want to write it here. Often I filter it but more and more I am tending to just stick it out there. Typically in real life I just don't do that. I understand that it is easier do to internet anonymity, but what sometimes fascinates me is how much I want to say it. Get it out of my head into the ether. Not for anyone else's comment, though I welcome discussion, but for my own ability to just get it out to find perspective.
darkfyre_muse: (TV tights)
or, meditation at 150 bpm.

Something happens around the time my heartrate hits 150 that makes thought flow. Somewhere after 'Do I really have to be here' and before 'I'm going to die now', some restraining force in my head starts to break down and I can think. But not in an organized logical way. It wanders around. And typically goes places I hadn't intended to be while working out. (If the guy on the next treadmill only knew.) So thoughts and feelings that I had been ignoring or just plain didn't know were come floating to the surface and I have an odd detached place to work on them for awhile. Then with any luck I can solidify a few right after and not lose all the work I just did. Sometimes.
darkfyre_muse: (paint hand)
I think my muse is taunting me. She will pop up and throw out the loveliest, most beautiful ideas, then run off and hide under a hidden rock. Err...thanks. Really. Inspired lack of motivation is so much fun.

So how does one capture a muse long enough to actually create something beautiful. Can I catch her in a book like a pressed faerie? Probably not.
Working on that one.

Made a good start last night started laying out collages of the trip east and the piercings. Also going through older work for more ideas.
darkfyre_muse: (angel2)
I think time flows like water. Fast. Slow. Cold. hot. Controlled by the structure of a river, raging out of control through a flooded gully. Contained and accounted for or slipping futilely through my fingers. Yep that last one about sums up where I am at and have been. For a moment it seems held in my cupped hands, til I realize it is slipping away through unseen cracks.
In the now I want to be like a great river, steady and strong eventually getting from point A to point B with just enough rapids and swerving to keep things interesting.
darkfyre_muse: (Default)
I have been trying to do a post a day since May 19. Recently I've been running short on interesting topics. So I am stealing this from LJ 'writer's block". So here goes.


"If someone intentionally set fire to your home and you had ten minutes to get out, would you try to save the arsonist or your belongings? )
darkfyre_muse: (spiral)
I need one. I haven't been looking hard enough, or for the last few months at all. It's time to get back out there. My brain is just about balanced again so I should work on balancing my life now. Having to do some recent paperwork towards my registration exams has got me thinking and moving in that direction. So I am basically writing this for myself as some inspirational musing/navelgazing.

So every now and then we all get asked questions like these:
"Are you actually happy with your what you do for a living, is it something you want to do for 20 years or the rest of your life. Why, what do you want to accomplish, what makes it meaningful to you?"
I thought now seemed like an appropriate time to answer them. )
darkfyre_muse: (cool lie)
There is no box.
darkfyre_muse: (tiny dancer)
Main Entry: love
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: adore, like very much
Synonyms: admire, adulate, be attached to, be captivated by, be crazy about, be enamored of, be enchanted by, be fascinated with, be fond of, be in love with, canonize, care for, cherish, choose, deify, delight in, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, fancy, glorify, go for, gone on, have affection for, have it bad, hold dear, hold high, idolize, long for, lose one's heart to, prefer, prize, put on pedestal, think the world of, thrive with, treasure, venerate, wild for, worship


I've been thinking about love and relationships a lot recently. And passion and connection. )
darkfyre_muse: (ninja monkey)
It didn't suck. I was pleasantly surprised and rather enjoyed myself.
Jake Gyllenhaal was fantastic, if you get past the fact that he's a white guy. That said he had a decent script, acted well and ran around without a shirt looking hot. very hot. I enjoyed the story a lot and it had enough of a twist to keep me happy at the end. (though I was hoping for a little more 'rocks fall; everyone dies'. call me perverse)

In the end only 2 things bugged me. 1) The afore mentioned lack of a brown lead, or any non-whites in speaking roles. 2) Is that it utterly FAILED all points on the Bechdel Test. (To the extreme point that they bloody KISSED during a CHASE scene. really? seriously gag me please)

But for a fun friday with your SO I recommend it.
darkfyre_muse: (angel2)
Courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] jazzfish Today is Sunreturn. The dark of the year has passed and we've not given up. From here on up it's all downhill. ...

Sunreturn is... )
darkfyre_muse: (box science)
So as mentioned last month, or was it October?, I am trying to be a better citizen of the world and strive to keep up on current events. This includes domestic, world, and professional areas. To this end I try to read 2 or 3 articles at WSJ online everyday and am broadening my exposure to the blogosphere. With that in mind this post by Ms. Trunk really bugged me. Cut for length )

Jumping off the soapbox now.
darkfyre_muse: (thought)
The basis of this post comes from a post by Penelope Trunk over at Brazen Careerist. If you have never read this blog I highly recommend checking it out. She gives excellent advice for both young and established professionals. http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/

The relevant post here is from last November. http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/03/five-things-people-say-about-christmas-that-drive-me-nuts/
Cut for length and ramby-ness )
darkfyre_muse: (snowflake)
OK maybe not a problem but definitely something I need to get over. (Actually I have quite a few of these but, one thing at a time. (and thank you julesk for putting up with me whining about most of them)

So here it is. )
darkfyre_muse: (blood pen)
Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

As [livejournal.com profile] oceansfire will tell you, I have pretty well developed opinions about this. And in the end it comes down to a separation of church and state. IMHO there is a big difference between the legal state document that [livejournal.com profile] quixotic_goat and I signed and the religious ceremony that was performed. As such I see no reason that the two need to mix. My solution, stolen from the Germans, is that everyone must have a JP ceremony first. After that if you want your union consecrated in some way that is meaningful to you, so be it. I can understand people of strong faith feeling that homosexual marriage goes against the doctrine of their faith. They have the right to believe that. But they do not have the right to impose there faith, and subsequent doctrines, onto people not of that faith/religion. (As a note: I can sympathize with both sides of the conflict surrounding Christian homosexuals. IMHO it is complex and extremely personal and in the end is between the individual and God. And it is one I am glad I do not have to tackle.)
I could probably go on for pages about this but I won't. If you would like to discuss it with me, in a civil intellectual manner, give me a call and I will enjoy the discourse.

If you would like to make a more direct impact towards stopping the passing of CA Proposition 8, donations can be made to the campaign at http://la.hrc.org/ At this point the money is to get more advertising on the air before Tuesday. Currently the "Yes on 8" campaign has about for times as much cash and hence that much more advertising. And a huge portion of that money is out of state.

love is where you find. There isn't enough of it out there to waste any of it.

peace + love + joy
darkfyre_muse: (thought)
The following is posted as a direct quote from the journal of [livejournal.com profile] on_a_hill. I agree with her take on the importance of it. For all that I angst over my life, in the end I am Incredibly fortunate. I have friends who have lived through things that would more than likely have broken me. I do not express gratitude nearly often enough and it has been far too long since I put back into the world that which I have not just taken but been given outright.

--------------------------------------------
Privilege Meme (yes, I'm doing it) )
darkfyre_muse: (pls die)
I get the most bizarre thoughts in my head at the strangest times. Such as this gem. At 4pm on a sunny friday afternoon. I may be getting frustrated with work. Or I may just be that random. I've always really liked the last sentence.

"Who am I? I'm Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Andrei and Sofie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is gonna kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I'm death incarnate and the last living thing that you're ever going to see. God sent me."
-- Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Between the Darkness and the Light"

Can I be her when I grow up? I promise to use my powers for good. (You know the vengeful variety, chaotic good.)

Mmmm...tasty sci-fi goodness.
darkfyre_muse: (Default)
Did Starbucks kill the local coffee shop?

At the moment, and most other moments for that matter, I say yes. This may be unfair. My local coffee shop/cafe may just have poor business sense. I doubt that's it. In the last 4 years I have lost 3 comfy places to hang out. The most recent being the one closest to my office, The Naked Bean Cafe. They are unfortunately across the street from a Starbucks. I have trouble believing this is not a factor in their eminent closing this Thursday. I do believe in capitalism but, I also believe in buying locally. I hate the continued homogenization of American culture. The similarity of suburbs in N. VA, Kansas City and Southern CA is disturbing. These places should not look the same. (Don't even get me started on the fact that there is a McDonald's across the piazza from the Pantheon in Rome.) Also please remember that buying local isn't just about culture it is also ecologically sound. Local business tends to buy locally for this like baked goods and supplies. This means less shipping distance, hence less fuel/resources consumed. But to be honest my desire for a local shop is selfish. I love a place with flavor and ambiance. Friendly staff with the time and desire to chat. (You want to know how to keep your hair vibrantly pink? Ask the chick behind the counter. ;))

So starting friday I will be perfecting my home brew and spending more time in Encinitas at The E Street Cafe. (Live music every Friday and Saturday, stop in if you're in town)

So the moral of my story. When you get the chance buy local. Go to the non-franchised grocery, join a co-op, support your local coffeehouse. I can guarantee you won't be disappointed. (ok not Guarantee but you know what I mean.)

peace + love + coffee

nice

Apr. 24th, 2007 20:48
darkfyre_muse: (rainbow fairy)
darkfyre_muse: (abby nerds)
Probably one of my least eventful birthdays to date. Between yesterday's surrealism, tax day and car drama I almost forgot about it.

We went out Sunday and I have tentative plans for the weekend, but after 1.5 hours in the car my sister paid her taxes and went to bed. Some dark chocolate and red wine and I'm happy for the evening.

We seem to be trained from birth to fear 30, I have not a clue why. I am happier and more stable (mentally, financially, romantically) than I have ever been. I will miss a few things from my 20s but, most of those are because I was a student and not necessarily a 20 something. I'm actually looking forward to my 30s. Build a house, have a baby, stretch as an architect, find a niche where I can have an impact.

I actually feel like I have found more of 'me' this year than I have in quite some time. And I feel like I have just scratched the surface.

I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea of actually being 30. I just don't feel 'grown-up' enough to be 30. That sounds weird I know but, I'm still getting my shit together. And maybe all 30-somethings are, and that's the point. You never really grow out of any of it. You just add to it and hope for the best.

I'm looking forward to so many things this year. I guess its time to get busy.

love + peace + beauty

(musing on the userpic: 2 reasons I like it 1)Abby is just that cool 2) I am a nerd. Even at 30 I seem to have not grown out of it. Fortunately such things turn my husband on. "Give me the BRAIN!")(PS If you can identify the quote you get a cookie. clue:They were both disembodied at the time and it is sexual)

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