Jan. 4th, 2014

darkfyre_muse: (river's feet)
It is a new year. And as seems to be my usual I find myself reflecting on a year that was more down than up. A year where I again found myself mistaking happy for manic, just because I forgot what it feels like. And then this week I remembered, was reminded, that the soul must be fed. And that my soul does not thrive on light alone. I need the passionate dark that is not hiding but celebrating its pain. Riding agony and unrequited love through the night on a dark horse from hell.

(I’m not a writer, so I am shameless in the face of my bad emo metaphors. They sound juvenile, I am sure, but are cathartic none the less.)
darkfyre_muse: (Default)
So like the lovely Make_your_move I am striving to post more this year. Both here in long form and on Facebook. (One of the things I learned about life from Burning Man is that you can only thrive in the community if you help create it.)She posted this Q&A meme that seems like a good starting point for someone who hasn't posted much/any in the last year.

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
knitted a sock. Seriously I can think of nothing more pedestrian than that. Damn I need to gte out more.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make resolutions. Though I do use the Solstice and the New Year as points to reflect on the past and visualize the future.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not truly close. Ciaran got a new cousin and an acquaintance welcomed her second son.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. I'm thankful for that, so many of my friends have lost loved ones.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. The passports are terribly dusty and my boots aren't dusty enough.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
Sanity. A job. Passion.

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
None. There was no one moment that happened just a swirling storm.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting us all through healthy and breathing. Some days that is nough.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not dealing with a bad situation like a grown-up. Not maintaining my relationships.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Physically no. My healthy body has always compensated for the trainwreck that is my brain.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
seriously? this is a question?

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
julesk (as usual), my sister's girlfriend, my sister

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
There is a list, a short one, but I don't want to point fingers, I have no right to.

14. Where did most of your money go?
What little there is: food, mortgage, electrcity

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A trip that didn't happen, Ciaran turning 2

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
"Just give me a reason"
"Try"
- P!nk

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? sadder,
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
travel, burning

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying, hiding, regretting

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We spent it at home in VA with good friends and a curious two year old.

22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
No

23. How many one-night stands?
none, better luck next year

24. What was your favourite TV program?
don't think I had one.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I fight hate, but it is sometimes hard. No one this year truly earned it, nor indifference, though it was close.

26. What was the best book you read?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Penatonix, not my usual but tons of fun.

28. What did you want and get?
a happy kid

29. What did you want and not get?
some close, personal time with a lady I want to be closer to

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
did I watch any movies this year?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36, and I made cupcakes

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
more sex and more play

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
what fits?

34. What kept you sane?
you're funny. But julesk kept me off the edge.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
P!nk, my hero.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare, women's rights

37. Who did you miss?
Christine, my sister, someone I haven't seen in a decade

38. Who were the best new people you met?
Amber and Brian. (Technically 2012, but we didn't hang out then)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013
It's not a new one, but I keep forgetting. You never get what you don't ask for. And if it matters you'll get it done yourself.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent

It's been one hell of a year. Wish I could say it was unique, but just the same old crap. Here's to working for a better 2014.

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